Walter and Lily, the Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman of Colne, have been together now for 24 years, and their marriage has always seemed, to outsiders, to be one long honeymoon. Nellie and Eli move in as marriage-maker and marriage-breaker when Lily confesses that the relationship is not all it appears.

⁣It's Friday night! And the Pledges are looking forward to two wholes days without pickling... until Lily and Walter appear. Apparently their house has subsided and they've got nowhere to go.

It's Christmas Eve! Eli's full of the Christmas spirit and Nellie has to tell Lily and Walter they can't come for Christmas dinner as they are going out for theirs: "We've booked a table at the Hotel Metrollops".

Eli finds out that Nellie has had him insured and accuses her of trying to kill him off for his money.

Boxing Day at Pledge's Purer Pickles. The factory is quite. The last consignment of special gift-wrapped gherkins for Christmas has long gone.


Nellie and Eli find time to spend a few peaceful hours with the family. It is a small family circle these days and the Pledge's are left with Lily and Walter, affectionately known - by Eli at least - as the Christmas Fairy and King Rat. But is it a good idea to hold a séance to try to get in touch with old Joshua Pledge who has been dead these two years? Is Lily really a medium? Can the ghosts of picklers long departed really roam the factory? Is dad trying to get in touch with Nellie from that great pickle factory in the sky?

Nellie Pickersgill moves to London to take the reins of her Ailing fathers Chelsea pub.

Nellie contacts a spiritualist in an attempt to contact her late mother in the after life. She has an important question, and she needs an answer.

There are burglaries in the area and Nellie sees someone creeping around outside the pub at night. She thinks its the window cleaner Charlie. Or is it?

Nellie Pickersgill gets word that her father Jed is ill and can't manage his pub, so she packs up and hurries to move south to help him.

Bill decides to leave the social club and go to the Caribbean Club. When Jacko, Eddie and Arthur hear there is a stripper over there, they go over too. When Bill sees them, he refuses to sign Eddie in. Eddie calls the race relation board and Bill is investigated and given a warning. When Eddie goes back to the club, Bill throws Eddie's pint of beer on the floor and they are both barred.

Bill and Eddie are looking forward to going to the FA Cup Replay between West Ham and Manchester United so much that they both pretend to be injured so that they can take a day off work to go to the match. However their wives have other ideas!

Joan tries some of Barbie's exotic food on Eddie. After joining the works social club, Bill challenges Eddie to see who's best at Limbo dancing.

Joan convinces Eddie to buy a new bedroom suite in the sale. Unfortunately Bill wants the same suite, so they both decide to camp outside the shop overnight.

Barbie announces that she's pregnant, Bill brags, and Eddie tries to convince Joan to start a family as well, believing that anything Bill can do, he can do better.

The discussion in the club turns to ghosts. When Nobby says a ghost is haunting the club, Eddie and Bill make a bet that Eddie can't stay in the club all night.

The club is having a Lady and the Tramp theme night: the men will be tramps, and the ladies will be ladies. Not so simple for Jacko, who comes as the lady and his mother is the tramp. Unfortunately, the police crash it because their liquor license has expired; Eddie forgot to renew it.

After being disturbed by the local Revivalist Band and having a big argument with the boys about religion, Eddie gets converted and joins the band; Joan hatches a plan to revert him to normal.

At the club meeting, the men decide to take a trip to Majorca. The women threaten to withhold all their services if they do not take them, so off they all go.

Through a misunderstanding, Eddie spends the duration of the trip in jail.

The Electricity Board cuts off the power to Bill and Barbie's for non-payment. They know they paid it; they just can't prove it. Joan lets them move in and offers to go down to the office with Bill to sort it out. Unfortunately, the man is Black and Eddie can't hold his tongue. Worse, they find out that Bill gave Barbie the cheque to mail, she gave it to Joan, and Joan gave it to Eddie. It's still in his pocket.

Joan's mother comes to visit and Eddie puts his foot down and kicks her out. Joan leaves with her.

Jacko comes back from holiday with news that he is getting married to a bingo caller he met on his travels. When she shows up, everybody thinks she's after his money; in fact, Joan knows this girl to be a gold-digger--and already married. She sends the girl packing and the wedding is off. Albert thinks Jacko will jump into the canal, and everybody heads out there to stop him.

Thinks his trip to the T.U.C. Conference will get him away from everything, Eddie gets a shock when Bill says he's going as well and Barbie has arranged that he shares his room.

The house next door to Eddie and Joan has been sold and the couple that moves in comes as a massive shock to Eddie.

It's Eddie's birthday and the boys at the club band together to send him sexy birthday cards as a joke, which doesn't impress Joan. Bill also sends a joke one from Harold Wilson that leads to Eddie being arrested.

Bill gets angry at Eddie when he keeps ogling Barbie while she's sunbathing in the garden. Eddie thinks Bill is stirring things up, so he decides to move. Bill doesn't want any Black people moving in.